Whew! These past two weeks have truly flown by in a whirlwind!! I’ve been able to be involved in some really cool things (like ceai and chat, Christmas baking, and tomorrow I’m helping with a special needs program!) but I’m also only a week and a half from returning to the states….and that brings up some emotions I’m not quite ready to face.

Anyways, today I want to talk about dreams. Not the kind you have when you sleep, cause those, at least for me, are usually weird and make no sense. No, I’m talking about dreams you have when you’re awake. Aspirations, goals, values, things that you want to accomplish. These things are so important to us as humans, but I didn’t really start to realize this until last week.

One of my projects that I have been working on over the semester has been creating a student handbook for the special needs club. Basically this means that each client gets a page with their picture, name, and some other information on it. As I was editing it, I decided to add a place for them to put their values and goals. This then led to being able to sit down with each client and ask them about their goals, and this rocked me to my core.

Now, these clients have differing levels of disabilities, and some are quite high-functioning, but almost all of the clients responded to this question the same. I don’t mean their answers were the same, but I mean they lit up when I asked them about what their dreams were. Most said things like “to get married” or “to have a job” you know, this makes sense as they are things most everyone wants. But I was struck with how much they seemed to be impacted by simply being asked this question. As I thought about it more, I realized that outside of the special needs club, outside of Veritas, there are probably precious few in Sighişoara who would ever stop to consider the dreams of a person with disabilities. Not because these people have malice towards the disabled, but because the disabled are not in the public and do not have the opportunities that they do in America. As I continued to mull this over in my brain, I started to connect some other dots.

As a part of my culture class, I had to read a book about working with those in poverty. The book I chose talked a lot about the importance of community. It talked of the power of community and that true poverty happens when a person feels isolated and without hope. This is not just poverty, this is destitution, and it has nothing to do with money or material possessions. After talking with the special needs clients, I realized that having someone honestly care to hear what their dreams were, and even help them further develop those dreams into a reality, was the kindest thing I could do for them. But the thing that really struck me: this applies almost ANYWHERE IN LIFE!!!

Don’t believe me? Here’s some examples:

I cannot fix the family life of a child in the kids program, but I can encourage her to fight for her education despite pressure to marry.

I cannot heal someone of their disability, but I can listen to their goals and then fight to put them into action.

I cannot relieved material poverty that so many in villages face, but I can persistently affirm those who live in poverty that they are capable to work for their dreams.

I cannot stop the pain of a broken heart, but I can hold someone as they cry, and help them start to rebuild what was broken.

I cannot undo the harsh words said in anger, but I can affirm someone’s worth.

Here’s the problem: I can’t make people dream. Ok maybe that’s actually a good thing cause let’s be real, me in control would be a train wreck. But seriously, I can encourage and love and affirm all I want, but if someone has never been shown what it means to want more, it doesn’t mean anything. Wow. Depressing right? Nope. Cause now I, and hopefully you, have something to pray for. I have all but stopped praying for God to give people money, or for Him to get them out of their situation, not because I’ve given up hope or think their situation is fine, but because there’s more. I’ve started asking Him to help these people that I have come to cherish to DREAM BIG. I want them to dream so big, so crazy, that it can’t POSSIBLY happen without God. I want these kids, these adults with disabilities, these mothers and fathers and social workers and teenagers to experience a Love so radical that they can’t help but dream big. Because I know that my God not only loves them that radically, he even RELISHES doing the impossible.

Bună ziua!!! Ok, I’ve now been back in Romania for 2 weeks since fall break in Rome, and it’s still been truly wonderful. But, instead of telling story or giving a normal update, I wanna share my latest experiences in a little bit of a different way. As you may know, Thanksgiving is coming up this week, and it just happens to be my favorite American holiday. So, I figured I could be a little more public this year with what I am thankful for, as I have been blessed with so much.

I am thankful first for my God, for I know that only because of him am I doing so well here in Sighişoara.

I am thankful for my family in the states, for my parents who have been a source of unending support, for my brother who never fails to make me laugh, for my cousins who I can truly say are my close friends, for my grandparents and aunts and uncles who love me all the way from home.

I am thankful for my school, for Cedarville, even though I don’t agree with everything they do or ask, the faculty has pushed me to become a better person in so many ways, and the classes have taught me more than I could have expected about myself, the field of social work, and what it means to follow the Lord.

I am thankful for my friends in America, who continue to Snapchat and FaceTime with me even when the timing is inconvenient, who let me crash their dorm rooms when I wanted to come visit, who push me to follow Jesus even when it means being away from them, who write me unexpected notes just to say they’re thinking of me.

I am thankful for my host family, for their welcoming spirit, for the opportunity to better understand a culture different from my own, for their true acceptance of me into their family.

I am thankful for the people I work with at Veritas, for their patience with me as I seek to learn Romanian, for their kindness to me as I adjusted to this new environment.

I am thankful for the friends I have made here, for the movie nights, the game nights, the worship events, for the dinner group and the opportunity to have an American thanksgiving here in Romania, and building community with a whole new set of people.

I am thankful for the clients I get to interact with each week, for their acceptance of me, and their willingness to teach me as well as learn from me as we all grow together.

I am thankful for the kids club I get to work with, for the beautiful faces of the kids, for their wild spirits and eager hearts, for the hugs I get and the love I give. I am thankful that these kids have this program, that they have a help for homework, that they have adults who demonstrate Christ’s love when so many in other villages and homes do not.

I am thankful for the challenge of learning Romanian, for when I feel as though I have figured things out, the struggle to learn this keeps me humble and reliant on God.

I am thankful that even though I only have 3 weeks and 4 days left in this country, God is not done here. I am thankful that the upcoming goodbye is not goodbye, just see you later. I am thankful that even before I was born, before my grandparents were born, God loved this country more than I ever could, and he still does. I am thankful that the work I’ve been a small part of did not begin with me, nor will it end with me. I am thankful that even when I am uncertain about my future, Jesus knows my heart, and He knows what is best for me, whether that means staking my life here or back in the states.

I guess to sum up, because I’ve only scratched the surface of what to be thankful for, I’ll end with a classic: I am so, so thankful for MASHED POTATOES.

Well, I’m late. But only by one day on a self-imposed deadline so I feel like that’s acceptable. Also, this post is a little different from my previous ones, and here’s why: I’m not in Romania right now. *gasp* how could this be? Two words: fall break. Two more: in Rome. Saturday night I arrived here in Italy (without my luggage) and got to meet up with my family!!! What a blessing, am I right?!?! Sunday we went to mass in the pantheon, toured several of the gorgeous churches in this city, and my luggage finally caught up to me. We ended the day in a delicious restaurant and then I got to see where Julius Caesar was assassinated. So that was cool!! And mind boggling, as there were ruins there that have been standing since before Jesus was born. Like, wow.

Anywho, during all of this yesterday, several things really started to get my mind-gears turning. First, seeing churches as beautiful and intricate as the ones we did always forces me to beg the question: is this good? Second, mass in the Pantheon was quite the experience, and finally, in my devotion time right now, I just happen to be working through the book of Acts. If you don’t know, this particular book in the Bible is primarily about the development of the early church. The verses that really stood out to me this morning come from chapter 5 verses 41-42 which read, “Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name. And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they did not cease teaching and preaching that the Christ is Jesus.”

This passage highlights so well the attitude of the disciples after Jesus’ ascension. Not only did they rejoice in suffering, but they continued to preach to and include others at the risk of imprisonment and death. I can’t help but compare that to what I see in the church today. I know our culture is different, and Christianity is no longer illegal, at least in the places we are, but what if the church still had this outlook? Would we spend millions of dollars erecting beautiful buildings that remain mostly empty? Would we look down on those who are “unchurched” and marginalized? Would we get bent out of shape when someone sits in our pew at church? I think not. This is something I’ve been grappling with since the service yesterday at the Pantheon. While it was a wonderful experience to worship in a building as historic as that one, before the service even began I was upset. We had gone to sit in the pews set out and wait for the service to begin. About ten minutes before the start of the service, there were probably a couple hundred people inside. A woman then started announcing that the pantheon would be closing for a service and anyone not staying for mass needed to leave. This wouldn’t have bothered me too much, but as people started filing out, several workers began walking around gruffly asking people why they were there and asking them to leave if they weren’t staying for mass. I was furious. There ended up being maybe 75 people in attendance, and I looked outside to see hundreds of people milling around in the square just outside of the building. Ugh, I’m getting worked up just thinking about it now. Why did this anger me so much? I’m glad you asked. 🙂 All I could think was “if Jesus were here, he’d leave too. He’d be outside with the people. He’d be with those that truly needed to hear the gospel. Think about it: there’s a church service about to happen in a place filled with hundreds of different people every week who may otherwise never hear the good news of Jesus, and how does that church respond? Kick everybody out. I hated it. The service was nice, several of the readings were done in English, (the service was in Italian) so I did understand some of it, but what was the purpose? Why on earth have a church there if you treat those literally on your doorstep with such contempt?

So this is what I’ve been wrestling with. One thing I’ve learned to remind myself these past few months though, is to suspend judgement. One way I try to do this is by asking the question: what is cultural difference, and what is truly wrong? After asking this question, and talking with my family about it, I truly think it was wrong to aggressively kick those people out. I think it was counteractive to the purpose of the gospel and the Church. I think culturally, having so many beautiful churches is a gift, but seeing as many beggars as I did on the streets, those gifts could be used for so much more. I think brokenness can be found everywhere in the world, but seeing it so blatantly in a place supposedly so influenced by the gospel hurts. And as I continue to see the amazing things Rome has to offer, I will try to keep these things in mind, while also remembering the gift it is to be here and see the things I am seeing.

Ok, so I’m starting to realize I have a pattern of posting every other Sunday, so in keeping with that pattern, here’s an update!! It’s hard to believe I’m approaching my halfway point of being here in Romania already. It’s been 5 weeks and the culture-shock “pit” simply has not yet happened. While I know it still could, settling in here has been easier than I ever could have hoped for. I know this is largely due to my massive support system back in America and all of the prayer for me and my time here. So, before I begin, thank you. Thank you for your prayers, for your support, for just taking the time to read what I have to say and allowing me to have just a little bit of a voice in this big crazy world. It means so much to me that the people I love most are willing to love me from afar for this season of my life as I continue to chase what God has for me. So with that said, what I’ve been learning most these past two weeks (since I last posted) has been about presence. Haha kinda ironic since I was just writing about distance, right? 🙂

In Titus 2:7-8 it says to “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.” (ESV)

Ok, so that may seem like a kind of random scripture passage to just plop down in the middle of my post, but hear me out. I deal with a language barrier. Every. Single. Day. It does get easier, but it doesn’t go away. Because of this, I have to learn other ways to communicate and observe in many situations. And, as I step more into my role as a social work intern, I must learn how to influence and affect change for the clients I am working with. Putting these two things together can seem impossible at times, but I’m learning more and more it’s not as difficult as it may seem.

Story time!! (Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about the scripture:)) I was out in Tigmandru, working with the younger kids there on Friday. For the activity that day they were each given different coloring sheets to color. Some of the kids weren’t exactly thrilled with which sheet they were given, but instead of allowing them to fight over who got what, we simply handed each child a sheet and that was that. Well, one girl simply was not having it. She sat grumpily in her little chair and refused to look at the paper. I saw this happen, and at first allowed her to sit, but once everyone else was settled and I wasn’t needed anywhere else, I decided to do something. I sat down next to her. She gave me her poutiest face and started to complain (this was one instance where a language barrier WAS helpful:)) but I simply pushed her sheet back in front of her, picked out a crayon from the pile that I thought was especially pretty, and held it out to her gently. She looked at me, she looked at the crayon, and her face lit up as she eagerly began to color. I have no idea why that worked, but it taught me something. As I was sitting at that table with those kids, I realized sometimes all they need is a caring presence. I spent the rest of the activity time encouraging the kids at that table and simply saying “bravo!” and “foarte frumos” (good job and very beautiful) but it made a difference.

So, what does this have to do with Titus 2? I think the word that stuck out most to me when I read that verse was the word “show.” If you read the context around these verses, this chapter is about older men and women in the church setting good examples for the younger men and women. So to read this and understand it in that context, it is clear that Paul, the author of this particular letter, is saying “lead by example.” Show up, be there, and then do the next right thing. This may seem small, but working with kids who at times are ignored and forced to fend for themselves, sometimes simply handing them a crayon with a smile on your face can change their entire day.

As I grow and learn here, I am beginning to see that the words I say are not the most important thing I can use to communicate. I am learning that the way I act and the fact that I show up, that I notice, is far more powerful than any words I could ever say. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

Phew! It’s already been three weeks and it feels like I just stepped off that airplane!! Anyways, here’s another update of how my time is going here in the beautiful country of Romania! 🙂

I’ve been working with my programs for a solid two and a half weeks now, and I’m starting to settle in to the routine here. Things have been good, and while I’m no longer on information overload, I’m still learning a TON and taking in lots of new information. So, before I dive in to the big lesson I’ve learned this week, I’d like to describe in a little more detail the programs I’m working with.

On Tuesday’s and Friday’s I go out to a nearby village called Țigmandru and work with kids in an after school program at the Nazarene church in the village. This program involves playing games, singing VBS songs, sharing a bible story and practical life-application and finally providing a meal (either a sandwich or a bowl of soup) for the kids. Their ages range from around 3 years old (some are barely walking) to around 13 years old. Now, although this is technically an “after school program” many of the kids that come do not consistently attend school, and many drop out before finishing 8th grade. Because of this, the program is designed to not only encourage school attendance, but it also is designed to provide social, mental, emotional, and spiritual education that would otherwise be missed for many of these kids. This program has been a ton of fun for me as the kids are wonderful to be around and love to teach me new games and learn new games from me (we played ninja for the first time last week.) 🙂

The other program I am working with on Wednesday’s and Thursday’s is an adult special needs club. There are about 8 clients that come to this club Monday’s through Wednesday’s and around 15 that come just on Thursdays. This club lasts from 10 AM to 3 PM and consists of community time, sport, lunch, and an afternoon activity such as baking, pottery, or some other sort of craft. I have also thoroughly enjoyed working with this population group as they are very joyful and welcoming to new people.

So now that you know a little more about what I’m doing while I’m here, I wanted to share something that’s been on my heart this last week: God doesn’t waste ANYTHING. This statement is one that I have found to be true in several ways since I arrived here. I have found that even small things in my life God can and will use for His glory. For example, the first week I was here, Veritas had an open house for many of their beneficiaries. One of the stations at this open house (the most popular one) was, in fact, face painting. Now you might know that I painted in an art studio for 11 years before graduating high school, but during that time I also volunteered in several fairs as a face painter. So when I was asked if I could face paint, I jumped on the opportunity. It was something small, but I was so thankful to be able to contribute to Veritas in this small way so soon after arriving. To me it was proof that God will use whatever you give Him, even something as small as face painting.

One last example: you know where I have felt most useful? Where I believe I have served well this week? In doing the dishes. Yep, I flew across the world to wash dishes. Now, I’m not saying that I haven’t been blessed to be able to participate in wonderful, kingdom-building things, because I have. But, if I have learned anything in working with an NGO these past weeks, it’s that what is most beneficial is doing what needs done, not what seems “most-important.” If a client needs assistance to go to the bathroom, you take them to the bathroom. If there are dirty dishes in the sink, you wash the dishes. If someone asks you to carry boxes to the other side of the campus, guess what? That’s what you do. It’s not glamorous, it’s not spiritual in the sense that you leave feeling so accomplished and good about yourself, but it’s SERVICE. And that’s the whole point. The small things ARE the big things. Not because they are difficult or essential, but because they are done out of service for our neighbors and out of respect for our God. So when I’m asked to do the dishes, I’ve learned to say yes with joy because I’m doing it for Jesus. It’s not about how I look, but how He looks, and THAT is why the small things matter.

Ok, I’ve officially been here for almost a week now, and I figure it’s time to update. I’ve had a wonderful first week in this beautiful country. The travel here was long but easier than I could have hoped for, and the people I have interacted with have been welcoming and caring. I know I am still in the “excitement” phase of culture shock, and that there is likely a “pit” to come, but so far things have been truly wonderful!

Before I get to the main thing I want to share today, I’d like to introduce you a little bit to the program I’m working with. It’s called Veritas. It’s an NGO (non-government organization) and it’s purpose is to help the people of Sighişoara through a variety of programs and to share the love of Christ while doing so. The programs it provides include: kindergarten, after school programming for kids through junior high, high school groups, an elderly club, a special needs club, and a domestic violence program. There is also an after school program (which I will be working with) for kids out in Țigmandru which is a Roma village nearby. I will also be working with the special needs club, but that program does not start until next week.

Okay, so now to the point: “Trade your certainty for awe.” If you have been around me long, (or at all) you probably know that I like heavy music. Like really. Heavy. Music. Like makes Metallica sound like Taylor Swift kind of music. You may be wondering what this has to do with anything, but the quote mentioned above (and the title of this post) is lyrics from one of those really heavy songs. These lyrics have been on my heart and mind for quite a while now, but especially so this week. The song they come from, “dying in circles” by Silent Planet, deals with the attitude of the church and challenges us to step out of our comfort zone to see hurting people who bear the image of God. The last line in the song never fails to remind me that although God has revealed so much to us, there is still infinitely more to Him than we could ever know. So when I start to think that my way of worship is the only way or there’s nothing new I can learn, HEART CHECK!!!! When I enter the presence of God, pride and certainty are not the emotions I should feel.

I was reminded of this today at church because, as I am in Romania, the service was in romanian. Now, I had a translator who I am incredibly thankful for, but things like the songs and prayers I did not understand. But it didn’t matter. Even though I couldn’t understand the words being spoken, my spirit could understand the heart of God’s people approaching Him with love and humility. And I am ever so thankful for that. The language barrier can certainly be difficult, but I am learning there are many things that overcome it. And to me, taking part in a Romanian church service where I could not understand but yet still perfectly understood, and being united with believers from a different culture and background, I learned to let a little bit of my certainty go, and I learned a little bit more about awe.

5 days. I leave in 5 DAYS! So, instead of starting the packing process like a normal person, I decided to start my own blog!! 🙂 This is basically what I hope will become a place for me to share my experiences, emotions, and stories with all of the wonderful people who take the time to read this college girl’s eclectic writings.

Anyways, I should start at the beginning. If you don’t know, My name is Leah, and I am a Social Work student who will be studying abroad in Romania, a country I love very much, this semester. I will have the opportunity to not only study the language and other aspects of Romanian culture, but I will also be able to practice social work as I am fulfilling my Junior year internship while I am there! This is something I have been looking forward to for several years now, really since I got on that awful plane that took me away from Romania over two years ago now, and I cannot wait to see what the Lord will do and teach me as I follow Him there!

Now, everyone and their mother has asked me if I’m nervous about this trip, so I figure this is a good place to really explain how I’m feeling with only five days remaining until I take off (quite literally) for Romania. I’m not nervous. Yes, the thought of flying alone across the world is slightly disquieting. Yes, I know there will be many cultural and personal challenges awaiting me once I get there, and the last thing I want people to think is that I am being cavalier or flippant about this step I’m about to take, I’m not. And I can confidently tell you the lack of fear comes from knowing that I am following Jesus where He leads, and that no matter what happens, I can rest in Him. If it were just me going to Romania, I would’ve been a bundle of nervous energy from the time I bought the plane ticket until I landed back in the states. But it’s not just me going to Romania, and because of that, I can take this next step with the quiet assurance the Holy Spirit provides. I’m sure fear will arise along the way, and I will have to fight that battle when it comes, but the fear of the unknown has not been a part of this journey for me so far, and for that I am extremely grateful.

Well, now that I’ve gotten THAT off my chest, I’ll finish with this: I don’t know what this blog will look like quite yet, I don’t know how often I’ll post or how much I will want or be able to share. The one thing I do know is this: whatever happens in the next three months of my life, I want it to glorify God and bless those I come into contact with. So my prayer for this blog is that it will encourage those who read it, and that it will be a reflection of what the Lord is doing in my life.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton