Chasing Plastic

It’s been awhile since I wrote like this. Like three months if I’m counting right. Well, this morning, as I was doing my devotions, one of the things I have been doing since I got back to Romania (for those that don’t know, I was in the states for six weeks visiting family and friends and have now been back in Romania for about a week.) Anyways, as I was saying, one of the things I have been doing is working through a prayer journal that a friend got for me. Basically, several prompts for each day, spaces for me to put things that I’m thankful for, prayer requests, highlights, things on my heart, etc. Well, one of the things that was on my heart this morning particularly was the fact that I haven’t been writing. So, I simply wrote, “Lord, give me a desire to write again.” Then I moved on with my day and didn’t think about it too much more.

Well, the evening comes, and for the first time since I’ve been back to Romania, I felt bored. Here’s the thing about me: I’m REALLY extroverted. And I like being busy. So, for the last six weeks or so, when everyone and their brother wanted to hang out, get coffee, go bowling, go disc golfing, play some goaltimate (that’s a fun new thing I learned about, totally worth a google:) ) get sushi or whatever, I was over the moon about it! I was never bored. Like, at all. I promise I’m getting to the point, bear with me. Being back in Romania, there are still many friends to hang out with, and plenty of things to do. But, we don’t really hang out til 2AM like I tended to do with many high school and college friends while I was in the states. So, I had a great day today. BUT 8 o’clock rolled around, and my evening was free. I didn’t know what to do with myself. The weirdest thing happened. And no, it’s not what you think. That’s not when I wanted to write. Nope, that would make too much sense, I wanted to run. Okay for some of you that might be a normal urge, it isn’t for me. Let me be clear: I run for frisbee. That’s it. Nothing else. I hear about that thing called “runner’s high” and there’s no way I’ve ever run far or hard enough to experience it. But here I was, wanting to run, to burn some energy. So I did. 

Another thing about me: I love music. A lot. Mostly really heavy music too, although lately I’ve been exploring regular worship music again. So anyways, I have a running playlist that is comprised of the heaviest, fastest songs I have on my phone. And that’s what I usually run to. Not today. Today, for some weird reason, I felt I needed to listen to that regular old worship music while I ran. Now, I don’t know how much worship music you consume, but I’ll tell ya, it’s not really the pump-up stuff that metalcore is. It’s slow, simple, and straightforward. But I did it. And honestly, I wasn’t thinking about it being some nudge from the Lord, although I recognize it as that now, I really was just thinking I was antsy and needed something different. So I ran. To Maverick City and Phil Wickham and Andrew Peterson. LOL. But the funny thing about this combination of running and worship, it really clears your head. And another thing I’ve been learning lately is how important discipline is in discipleship (I know, they’re basically the same word, this should be obvious) but sometimes the application of obvious concepts is just not there. 

For me, the application came when I was reminded of the verses in Hebrews 12 (verses one and two to be exact) where it talks about letting go of everything else and running with endurance the race set out before us looking to Jesus as the founder and perfecter of our faith. Like I said before, I run for frisbee. There’s a purpose. For some people who run, the purpose is health, or joy, or another sport like mine. But none of us run aimlessly. If we do, we usually end up quitting early or injuring ourselves or getting lost. Or maybe that’s just me. But this is where it hits me (no, not a frisbee…this time) Jesus is why I run. Like, in life, metaphorically. Well, I’m not gonna say he never asks us to like, actually run, but you know what I mean. Discipline is so important, but it only makes sense when we keep our eyes on the prize. Our eyes on what we want. And what I want is Jesus. It’s crazy how easy it is to forget that in my pursuit to please him, I forget to want him. I start doing all the motions that seem most important, and forget that He is the only reason I do any of this. So when I stop looking at him, I quit too early, I get hurt, and I get lost. Discipleship is hard work. But it doesn’t feel so hard, so overwhelming, when it’s just me chasing Jesus. Just like running isn’t so terrible when I remember it’s just me chasing plastic (like, the plastic of a frisbee). I always like to end with a challenge, so my challenge this time is this: what do you run for? Why do you run? Or are you even running? Have you forgotten who you are running for? Have you never known the One worth running towards? For those like me who like doing things and sometimes forget why I’m doing them, I challenge you to look to Jesus. Remember why he’s worth all your energy, all of your discipline, for the rest of your life. For those who maybe are stuck on the sidelines, who haven’t found that thing to run towards or have just forgotten and have atrophied muscles, I challenge you to look to Jesus. Whether it’s for the first time or the thousandth time, look to Jesus. He makes running worth it.